Death Race

Nebulon has never seen the original Death Race 2000 but was expecting big things from this remake. Specifically, big cars, big explosions, big muscles and big boobs. This film did not disappoint on any front except the boobs, which were regrettably clothed throughout (unless you count Jason Statham’s and Nebulon does not).

The plot is a thinly veiled excuse for car based death to do with the corporations taking over prisons and running them for a profit. There is also a flimsy subtext about how the mobs lust for bloody violence is damning evidence of a society in decline but to be honest, the humans who line up and pay money to see this film will not do so for the social commentary.

Statham plays the part of a former racing car driver turned Joe citizen who is imprisoned for a crime he did not commit (Nebulon wonders if there are in fact any guilty people in your Earth jails). He steps in as a replacement for deceased Death Race star Frankenstien who just so happens to have already won four of the five races he needs to gain his freedom in true gladiator style. Needless to say things aren’t that simple as the megalomaniacal prison warden who contrived to have Statham imprisoned in the first place seems reluctant to let Statham go. What follows is car chases with guns interdicted with wise cracks from Ian McShane in a fairly predictable style. Nebulon must admit however, that my mighty intellect did not see the twist at the end coming, although, I may have been distracted by the explosions and low cut tops.

Plot aside, Nebulon knows that all of Earth will only go to see this for the explosions and cars. It seems ironic that a film supposedly condemning Earth men’s lust for violence should rely so heavily explosions and gore to draw the audiences in, but Nebulon knows that irony is something that you as a species have not come to terms with. I am sure that you will all enjoy this spectacular if some what vacant demonstration of pyrotechnics and stunt driving ability.

This is station 59 signing off. The time of your destruction is at hand Earth men.