Transformers 2

Naturally, giant robots are of great interest to Nebulon. I am keen to see how your species might react when confronted with a 200 foot tall killing machine. That is why I was able to put down last nights beam down to the multiplex as 'expenses'.

Transformers 2 revolves around the eponymous Transformers who are on earth, searching for various maguffins. When the hero of the last movie, Shia Labouf inadvertently downloads part of the Transformers sacred writings into his brain he quickly realises that blah blah blah. If your interested in the plot this clearly isn't the film for you. There is very little of your human character development, instead this is replaced by giant robots hitting each other and things exploding very loudly. Nebulon can imagine director Michael Bay standing behind the camera, pleasuring himself, at the sight of all the hardware on display.

The sad thing is, Nebulon liked this movie, but he did not like himself for liking it, instead he felt dirty. Put simply this is the most creatively bankrupt things produced in the entire universe. In none other of the nine inhabited worlds of this galaxy is any species making movies as pointless and vacuous as this. This isn't a movie as much as it's an investment fund for people with rather more money than imagination.

Nebulon was alarmed to spot on one of your earth based news sites Michael Bay seemed to let it be known that he was disappointed with the marketing effort on this film. When a director is rather more concerned with marketing than directing it tends to show through in the final product, and this is no exception. Nebulon cannot escape the feeling that there exists somewhere a giant spreadsheet which assigns value to plot elements:

Megan Fox bending over = $8.4 million
Tame mini decepticon humps Megan Fox's boot = 2.3 million
Shia Labouf's face = $0.7 million.

This movie has no plot, no imagination, no characters, no redeeming features what so ever, and if you pay to go and see it you're probably going to hell. If you're prepared to forget all this however, the resulting two hour special effects demo does it's job respectably.

That's all for now earth men return and compose an email to the high command regarding our giant robot designs. Watch the skies.